How to make your own ketchup (catsup?) and mustard! Which is technically how to make your own mustard because the ketchup is from a bottle with stuff mixed in it. But still making your own mustard is pretty cool, especially when it’s Guinness mustard.

Ketchup always reminds me of Uma Thurman from Pulp fiction:

Three tomatoes walking down the street: Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry, goes back, and squishes him and says ‘ketchup.’ Ketchup.

My mom also used to work for Heinz Corp so she had this watch with a Heinz 57 on the face and red mickey mouse-esque hands coming off of it telling the time. Around the face it said “Time to ketchup.” No mustard jokes though, sorry folks, tip your waitresses.

PS: The mustard need 2 days of soaking prep so this isn’t a last minute thing you procrastinators!